{somethings cahnge, others stay the same}

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

My mom took me out for luch on my birthday. while we were away from the house the Rod & my Dad made a cake & frosting from scratch. pretty impresive. after the song was song & the candles blown out maddox decided it was time to dig in. & so, he did.
I am 30 now. I am okay with that. Things do not feel diffrent then they did when I was 29. Im not suddenly feeling old.
Actually, I still feel stuck at 21. I still worry about the same things & fixate too much, I still think about the things I did last year & even 9 years ago. So many things seem the same. I still have horrible habits I wish I could break. Of course many things have changed too. I feel a greater sense of purpose. I am a mom. I know who I am & am comfortable with my inner self. I am not perfect, but I am not awful either. I am me. I know where I want to be in the future & in some ways I know exactly where I am headed. I have big dreams & hopes & havent decided to give up on those because of where I am in life right now. Motherhood is a huge part of who I am, but its not all of who I am. I get excited about silly things & still dance around when no one is watching. I still like to be called Jenni even though most everyone calls me Jenn. I think about old friends when I blow dry my hair. I worry about bad choices when I clean the house. I dream atleast once a week about the same things I dreamed about while in college. 30 is 30. I am still fun & still get the occasional "are you the nanny?" or "those are all your kids? no way!" when I am out with the Sclater brood. the past 10 years have flown by at a speed totaly out of my control. & with the last decade of my life has come rollercoasters & challenges & fantastic times & growth! lots & lots & lots of growth! I am 30. & that is okay by me! I like who I am at 30.


Tamsyn said...

I like who you are at 30 too!! And totally wish I could be closer to my amazing friend, Jenni!!

Kim-the-girl said...

Well, happy birthday! This post made me smile. I like you, too.

Mauri said...

You can feel good about 30 for the both of us. :-) I think you are an amazing woman at 30 and fun too.
I have to say i'm a little sad I won't be able enjoy some of your 30s with you in Utah.
Looks like you had a fun birthday, Christmas, rod's birthday and I'm sure you'll have a great new years too!
Hugs for you my fantastic friend! And happy 30th year!

Tom and Jane Schell said...

From someone a lot closer to 40 than 30 (can't believe I'm admitting that)...You are going to love the 30's. They are some of the best years yet. Happy are AWESOME at 30, can't imagine how much better it can get!

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