{best shot}

Monday, July 21, 2014

I just heard a huge thump upstairs. I am listening. My desk chair is situated just below Maddox's bed.  He isn't fussing, I can hear his feet & bed frame creaking. I imagine he is in twilight, that magic place where wake meets sleep as he slides back between the sheets to return to his dreamy slumber. I think what it would be like to dream worry free like a child again. I worry about these 5 little people that have been entrusted in my care, in my arms, in my heart. I feel a tremendous amount of guilt when they go to bed with dirty feet from outside play. ridiculous things like that can seem so much bigger after dark when I contemplate their paths in life. Where will those feet take them? I know where I would like them to go. & that leads to endless lists of things I should do better tomorrow. I should read an extra book, sing an extra song, give an extra kiss, not forget to brush their teeth after pancakes or wash their feet at bedtime. I am a mom in the making. 10 years & I still wake every morning wondering how I am going to make the day work, but not just work, be warm & wonderful, & every night I find myself asking how it all worked out for another day. They are so patient with me. So forgiving of my mistakes. I can feel like the worst of the bad mothers & Britt will crawl up beside me snuggle into me & with that nasally voice of his say "Mommy your the best Mom ever. I'm so glad you are mine. & you cook good food too." that nasally voice that talks in circles just grabs at my heart. I'm not perfect, but I'm giving it my best shot. 

{belly flops}

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Last week I was an emotional wreck of a mother. Sometimes that happens. But the weekend was nice with a spontaneous lunch with neighbors & Sunday happened to be particularly uplifting. We kicked off this week with a trip to a natural spring fed pool. The pool, park & picnic was definitely a hit. We brought along Tre's buddy N. Tre loved having him by his side all day. Us ladies even got brave & did the rope swing. & Ill tell ya. I'm paying for it BIG time tonight! My neck is just about ready to give up on me all together. & to think I thought I was athletic. I stand corrected! I screamed like a crazy person because it was all I could do to make myself jump each time. The things we do for our kids! They loved seeing their mommy's swinging from a rope & plunging/belly flopping/dropping into the spring water. I handed the camera off to Tre to capture us crazy people. We sure have fun together. When these babies are all grown up & we no longer can hear their voices in the yards I am certain they will have fond memories of their childhood friends. & I will too. 

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