{before you were big}

My Sweet Tre-Tre,












Before you were a big boy, you were a baby. My first baby. I thought I was ready for you when you arrived. I had blankets & a wicker basinet, your nursery was ready with beautiful pictures framed carefully. I had shelves of baby books with brightly colored covers. We had diapers, wipes & pacifiers, which later you learned to call your "chooch."

You arrived ahead of schedule by 2 weeks. But I could tell you were up to something & so I had packed my bag for the hospital & waited. not so patiently I might add. I was excited to touch your nose to my cheek & feel your fingers in my palm. I wanted to see your eyes. I have told you the story about how Daddy had to practicaly beg me to go to the hospital because I was not convinced it was "time." Remember I told you I was crawling because I could not walk? Your mom is silly, huh?

When the nurse put you in my arms, I cried (your dad did too, but thats a secret. shh.) I cried hard. You were stunning. your little face was smooshed from being in my tummy, but I thought you were the most gorgeous thing my eyes had ever seen. That moment has not been surpassed yet. the moment I first laid eyes on my child. You will understand one day. I promise. I basked in that moment.

& then they let us take you home.

That is when you, tiny, weet itty-bitty you scared me right out of my boots! You started to cry! What was I supposed to do? Its a good thing your Omah was there. She took you in her arms while I cried over my dinner. She gently wraped you in a blanket & then in another blanket & she bounced you while patting your back softly. You would become still & gently fall into a dream about something magical I am sure.

Omah taught me how to take care of you, but you know who taught me to love you? a baby. A sweet little guy with baby blues. Can you guess who it was? YOU goober! I can even tell you the moment my heart fell for you. some mothers say they fall in love instantly, but truthfully, you & I took a bit of time to become aquainted. but like I was saying...It was 3am & I was feeding you.
I usually turned on a movie so not to fall asleep with you in my arms. I worried a lot about that sort-a thing. I wanted you to be safe & sound always! I think I had princess diaries 2 on. Isnt that embarasing! But thats what I was watching. It was playing ever so quietly in the back ground. You had on a sleeper with little green frogs & your cheeks were the brightest pink to match your nose. anytime you ate you warmed right up turning your face the yummiest shade of blush. I looked down, your eyes were closed. It was dark, but with the glow of the television I could see your long eye lashes. I inspected every little part of you. touched your fingernails, your knockles, your footed feet. & I fell. I fell head over heels in love with you, my son, at 3am when everyone else was sleeping & all the houses on our street were dark & still.

& you know what buddy? I still look at your eye lashes, I still rub your fingers between mine when you let me hold your hand. I still breath you in when we snuggle for a story. yeah, we get crazy at one another here & there, but thats what Moms & sons do. Its okay, because at the end of the day, no matter what, from here to the moon & back, for forever & ever...I love you! Infact...I love you more than I did at 3am while watching Princess Diaries 2. Yup! Its true. I love you! Happy Birthday to my forever baby who looks a lot like a big kid now! You have my Heart T-ster!

love, your crazy-head mom