{blue bike}

Before bed Wednesday night Rod, my father, & T put together a blue bike. Maddox has been saying the words "blue bike" every day atleast 25 times for the past 2.5 months. Thats a whole lot of "blue bike." I suppose he wanted us to know he meant it. I tied a red bow on it & we all climbed into our beds ready for the holiday.

Morning came & Maddox kept business as usual. Up long before everyone else, & long before the sun. we tip toed down stairs & started in on making donuts for breakfast & parade viewing. Rod & I placed a candle in his donuts & we all sang to our Maddox. He glowed.

Tre hurried to the garage & wheeled in the "blue bike." Maddox turned red cheeked & smiled big. He rode the bike through the halls, kitchen, between couches all day long. We had a few victims of tires over toes, but nothing a snuggle could not fix.

I have been anticipating this birthday. somewhere in my head/heart I kept thinking...if we can get past 2 with Maddox we will be okay. I have been pushing forward to this birthday for a year now. I wanted things to be dramaticaly better. They are better. Dramaticaly? no. But Better. I will take better. Infact, yesterday he ran up to me many times & would proclain "Me happy." or "this fun." I have never heard Maddox express that he was HAPPY until now. It melts me to the core. I think every mother finds joy when they know their child is happy. Maddox, my sad boy, is finding happy! My heart is full.

& so with that--I am most grateful this wonderful thanksgiving for the happy my Maddox has found. but near to this is my gratitude for my husband who endures my insecurities, insomnia, & goldfish infested car. & My parents who would drive to the moon & back to see their grandchildren, & who would give all they had to make my life easier. I am grateful for friends who continue to love me though I find myself far from them. I am grateful for adventures, & trials...because after them there is always something that is perfect & peace provoking.

Happy Thanksgiving & a Happy 3rd Birthday to our "HAPPY" Maddox!