Monday, May 14, 2012

For 7 years now I have done the same thing every single night. When my wee ones are dreaming I find a spot at my computer & I look at pictures for 5 or so minuets..nothing excessive...of the day,of a year ago, of the day one was born. I look at faces & I feel moments.  Tonight was no different...except maybe that I got sucked into a vacuum of nostalgia. It was 8 when I sat down & now almost 3 hours later I am overwhelmed with pretty memories, favorite pictures clicked & dragged to my desktop in a big messy heap. & scribbled on a piece of paper in almost illegible form is a list of things I have experienced since the day T was born.  I have been pregnant 8 times in my days as a mother. We have lost a few much further into pregnancy than expected. But we always moved forward with hope knowing that there was another babe waiting to see our faces. Motherhood has given me purpose. Motherhood has given me inspiration in abundance, a hobby, warmth, a greater connection to my heavenly father & a perspective on life & eternity I would not trade for all the chocolate in the world. & with this also comes a weighing sense of gratitude for my own Mom. She is beautiful. Have you seen her? She's charming & sweet & thoughtful & guides with love. I can call her at midnight in tears. She is there to listen & support me. She has never missed a birth or a birthday of her grandchildren. She is deeply devoted to her family & the woman I seek to model my own mothering after. I love her & her way of making things lighthearted. I love her & her way of making my children fall head over heels for her. I love her & the way she has become my best friend & dearest confidant in my adult years. I love her.


Kalen said...

I love all of these pictures. As I saw each one I said to myself, "that's my favorite"... "oh wait, that's my favorite"... "nope, that one is definitely my favorite." They all capture how much she loves those kids!! <3

marie said...

I love all those moments :-) I would not trade a thing xxoo Jenni, your kind loving words brought tears to of joy to my eyes. I love you xxoo

Ava said...

And my tears drip down my face...
What a beautiful homage to your mother! She sounds like a beautiful woman inside, and she definitely is outside!
It makes me think of my stepmom, who years ago stepped in to fill the shoes of my own mother, who passed away when I was 13. I love her as if she was my own flesh and blood. But can't help but wonder how life would be with my mom by my side... I just always cherish who is by my side, because you never know how long you have them.
I never knew you had lost so many babies in miscarriages. I'm so sorry to hear that. That must have been so hard each time. So glad to see you have such a strong, loving woman to lean on in hard times.
If I was saying this in person, this is when I would hug you. :)So, hugs from across the country. :)

Zoe said...

Your mother truly is all that. You were blessed with her.

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