yesterday Rod was getting ready to leave for work. He looked at me clapping along to a music toy Cooper was dancing to & stopped mid step & said "You have never looked so beautiful." Now I beg to differ. I was in leggings, his tee & a top knot the size of Texas, & yet he looked at me the way he had all those years ago in his car as we drove to meet his brother in DC.
I want to remember that.
Today it rained & stormed. Rain here feels special. We do not get much so when the skies darken I feel a calm. My lamps glow yellow & my house feels cozy. The babies were attempting a nap, but the storms woke them. So Rod & I gathered the two littles & played, fed them cookies & talked about work & the kids, schedules & some of life's worries that have been handed our way in the past 2 weeks. I braided Presley's hair into "Ana braids" & then "Elsa braids" while Rod played catch with Cooper. The boys came home like a tornado. Book bags & shoes abandoned in the entry, with piles of papers to be admired & praised.
I thought a lot about T today. He has been on a roll! He finished another great lacrosse season, he was designated Denner (leader) of his den in cub scouts, he was picked for the Battle of the Books competition next week, he did a great job speaking his part & performing in the 3rd grade choir, he is works so hard in taekwando, He brings home As, he lets Maddox be his forever shadow, he is always helpful at home. Its been a pretty big spring for the biggest.
Tomorrow is my Tar's graduation from medical school. I deep cleaned my kitchen as a distraction today. I am crushed that I cannot go to stand up & embarrass her to death when she walks. I am crushed that I wont be at the party! I feel I owe her that. She did so much for me when I lived in KY/TN. She was so supportive...& here I am not being there for her on a HUGE day. She juggled being a wife & mom of 3 while doing what I deem near impossible. Med school is hard!
Today Maddox asked me how i learned to be such a good Mommy. I was touched because I am pretty sure I am a complete nut as a mom. I told him I learned from my Momma, his Omah. He gave me a hug & said he was glad Omah is my momma. Me too.
& that pretty much sums up my thoughts in a completely unorganized mess.
Today...
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